


Someone To Hurt Like You

by Lanna Michaels (lannamichaels)



Category: Lord of the Rings (2001 2002 2003), Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Song Lyric Title
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-01-14
Updated: 2003-01-14
Packaged: 2017-10-17 07:59:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/174625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lannamichaels/pseuds/Lanna%20Michaels
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Soundtrack: Linkin Park - Points of Authority</p><hr/><p>Originally posted to Deadjournal. I am unsure if I ever posted it anywhere else.</p>
    </blockquote>





	Someone To Hurt Like You

**Author's Note:**

> Soundtrack: Linkin Park - Points of Authority
> 
> * * *
> 
> Originally posted to Deadjournal. I am unsure if I ever posted it anywhere else.

I know why he does this. I know why he punishes himself like this, trying to find the Uruks, trying to find Merry and Pippin. I know why he pushes himself, day after day, night after night. I know his stamina is long gone. I know he's running now on sheer anger, on sheer willpower.

Men have often intruiged me, both for their passion and for their emotions. Quick to anger, quick to love. They have so much to experience in so short a time. Men take risks no sensible elf ever would. Men are such hotblooded creatures. They fight among themselves. They make war with others of their kind.

But they love so quickly and unconditionally as well. I suppose this is what drew Arwen to Aragorn at first, the fact that he could love her so completely. But my dear cousin (as all elves are cousins) never realized that men's hearts are reckless. They love too much and too fast.

I suppose he and Boromir, then, were a perfect match. Both hot-tempered. Both so full of life and love. They clashed at first, like waves upon the seashore. But, like waves and sand, they soon found that they could not be apart. Their desire for each other...no, I will not speak of it. It is not for an elf to judge a man, even favorably. Two men, doubly so. We do not understand their passions. They do not understand our serenity, our peace with the world. We have time to live. They do not.

Boromir, I know, understood that. He was a soldier all his life. Aragorn knew this as well, but, unlike his ill-fated lover, Aragorn had time to grow up before being forced into his role. Boromir, from what I understand and from stories he told, was never a child.

Forty-one he was at death. I know this becuase Aragorn chants it under his breath as he runs. Forty-one, he barely had time to live. An elf at that age is still a babe. A man at that age is fit to die. Many do.

And Aragorn is suddenly lost without him. Eighty-eight, Aragorn will turn this year. Twice Boromir's age. And Aragorn has probably seen one half the death his lover had. Aragorn will live long, provided he isn't killed by some lucky orc or Uruk. Long life for a man, and every day he will have to live with his pain.

I sometimes wonder, is the doom of man really a doom? Men love too hard and too fast. Is it not better to live with the pain of loss for a scant number of years and then to reunite beyond the circles of the world, than to mourn forever? But the ways of men are not for elves to understand.

Aragorn runs now, trying to immitate the wind. Gimli lags behind. *He* has not the incentive Aragorn has. Aragorn runs towards combat, towards certain death. Aragorn seeks something I do not know, and I shudder to even think on it. He seeks darkness, hatred, and an end to his pain. No elf should ever have to contemplate that. And I fear that there is enough elven blood in Aragorn for it to consume him entirely. Aragorn seeks something I dare not contemplate. I fear it may bring his ruin.

And then what? He is the last of his bloodline, and Elrond has said that he is not to marry Arwen until he has a throne beneath him and a sceptre in his hand. Aragorn has sworn to marry none other than Arwen. I fear...I fear for men. For all his faults, Boromir impacted me in a way I would have never thought possible. He impressed upon me Minas Tirith, not as a city, but as an ideal. Gondor not as a country, but as hope incarnate. I suppose there are always Aragorn's cousins, but for some odd reason that seems inexplicably wrong.

Is it enough for Aragorn, I sometimes wondered, that he has the devotion of the elves? Did he need the love of men as well? I have my answer now. He loved Boromir of Gondor more than he loved Imladris. I just hope he didn't love Boromir more than he loves life.

But I know he mourns Boromir with more passion than he lives, now. I know he mourns Boromir with such anger, such regret. Such pain. An elf would die from such pain. For men, it is an everyday experience. How must it be to live with the constant threat of death around you. How must it be to plan, knowing that you may not see the plans fulfilled. How horrible. How terrible to know you can die at any instant.

And how wonderful it must be for Aragorn. To know that he can rejoin his lover at any time. At any moment. All he has to do is falter, all he has to do is fail. All he has to do is let an Orc get the upper hand, just once, and it's all over, and he can be with Boromir.

But, no, Aragorn is too noble to do such a thing. Boromir knew it, and I know it now. I seems, Aragorn's hope lies only in channelling his anger, and living. Living with the promise of death at the end. The promise of Boromir at the end. I know Boromir died in Aragorn's arms. I know the words they whispered. And I know that still Aragorn cannot bring himself to forgive himself for what he did, for what he said.

Gimli, I know, sees it rather clearly. Boromir tried to take the Ring, and he paid for his mistake. But I know it is more than that. Boromir succumbed to the weakness of men. The Ring played at his passion, and his passion for Aragorn did not escape its whispers. And Aragorn blames himself.

He kills. I've seen him. He twirls and spins. He dances with the blade. He tries to lose himself in the motions, in the dance of death. He wants someone to hurt like he does. He wants someone to feel mortality the way Aragorn does with every breath he breathes. He wants to make someone bleed. He wants to kill, and know his own life from it. Death reaffirming life. Life reaffirming death.

And through it all, avenging Boromir. One step closer to reunion.


End file.
